“I am beautiful and charming, and that is all my appearance promises. Any in Society who are disappointed when they do not find more cannot fault my countenance. The deception is not mine; they have deceived themselves. But let them continue to look, whether they are fools or no; I rather enjoy it.”
(emphasis mine)
- Demon Moon, Meljean Brook
i have escaped winter to return to the tropics and my sweat pores are ecstatic upon receiving the green light to perform to their full potential.
mmm nothing much has changed, at least not the bits that matter.
its strange how being away for so long (2 yrs) automatically makes one assume that some monumental breakthrough must have taken place.
not there havent been some improvements here and there.
the mrt now shows which side the doors open; fashion now includes more than just a variety of tshirts shorts and slippers. and theres a significant loss of public space now that orchard has undergone a major revamp and more shopping mall clones have sprouted and also all those other touristy attractions in the south. uhh not exactly an improvement as far as im concerned.
unsettled by the stillness of the countryside, i could never stay away from the city for long. ive always had a fondness for colourful neon lights, drawn to them like the proverbial moth to a flame. i secretly lamented about growing up in a city which cheated me out of experiencing the vibrancy and energy that came with gaudy billboards and neon signs. but now i fear that with the rush singapore is pushing progress in so little time and so much less space, we might just lose ourselves in the process. (that will be another topic involving prolonged discussion, stay tuned.)
on another note, it floors me why some people get offended when i joke about needing a tour guide when i come home. i dont intentionally act like a foreigner in my own country. (for the record, i also dont intentionally act or dress like a japanese, or singaporean or anyone in particular.) but for the most part im beginning to enjoy and look forward to these regular, albeit brief trips home. coming back from a foreign land with fresh eyes that dont exactly look at things with the same perspective as before is such a treat because you suddenly see the beauty in your hometown you had once taken for granted.
1. singapore should learn from japan the way to wait outside elevators, train doors, bus doors and the like
2. japan should learn from singapore how to maintain a perfectly smoke free environment
since ive left the nest…
sometimes i think im only flying forward because looking back seems to imply ive failed in some way or another.
on criminal justice in Singapore, an American peer comments
“How can police officers be allowed to patrol armed, while civilians are forbidden to own any weapons? … that’s ridiculous.”
now i know how LKY felt
i just wish i had the facility with words to express my indignance as well as he probably did
but what i really want to say is
i love you.
and im sorry i left you for another.
i dont know when i will be able to see you again, but i do know that the memories we built together will forever be irreplaceable.
without you, i wouldnt be who i am today.
thank you, Singapore.
(more…)
#425 tau sar pao
#426 lao po bing
#427 ma lai gao
#428 fried beehoon
#429 tau hway zui
the japanese food you find here makes me think eating tree bark would be preferable
discovering the hongkong bakeries in philly chinatown is close to the happiest moment ive experienced during my not-short-enough stay here
certainly a month of interaction would suffice, I had felt initially, to rid me of my irritation with being constantly mispronounced or misunderstood.
but in reality, one does not always get what she wants.
reactions to my self-introductions which I deal with on a daily basis border on either amusing the hell out of me or leaving me speechless.
no, my last name is not young
no, I do not have an english name
neither do I want one just because you cant be bothered to remember the one i have now
no, Im not japanese and do not have japanese ancestors
no, english is not a foreign lang for me
no, speaking mandarin does not necessarily mean I must come from china
neither does that mean singapore is in any way near china
no, I dont think asians look particularly exotic or mysterious but if you are looking for something like that in particular, I’d recommend the zoo.
yes, my first name is actually two words
yes, I can still speak English fairly well even if I don’t speak it in your idea of the native accent
yes, you should probably check the atlas if you obviously find a need to ask where singapore is (you miserable ignorant piece of shit)
yes, singapore is so small you cant even see it on the map
yes, singapore is where they caned an american and he deserved it.
yes yes yes for the 4191079817214329th time, we cant eat chewing gum we are squirming and suffering in pain because we are so emotionally deprived by not being allowed to consume toothpaste-flavoured elastic― happy? do you feel more liberated as a person now?
okay. i just need to get this out of my system.
what i had previously hoped to be the end to a perfectly delightful day turned out to be dreadful, after all. (is it just me or do you see a pattern happening here?)
i was very happily reading G. Pullum and minding my own business in campus when i was accosted by two japanese girls who planted themselves on both sides of me in a way that when i had to turn to face one i would be entirely blind to what the other was doing behind my back, literally. i point this out in particular because in the midst of the convo, i had a mini, but alarming, epiphany that people frequently mention their first impression of me as someone meek and compliant. and i immediately turned to pull my bag onto my lap to feel for my wallet.
paranoid, much?
the convo was as intellectually stimulating as say, watching my toenails grow. perhaps i should show a bit more appreciation for their ability to be most unsettingly effusive (eeeeEEE??!!! rEEaaLLYyY??!!! woOWWWW!!!!!!) in responding to every comment i made. it made me feel like some sort of exotic zoo exhibit going on public display for the first time in history.
asking “are your exams over” to start the convo was definitely intrusive. is it just me or is that a question normally directed to a close friend and not a stranger you are seeing for the first time. have i been cooped up in my own world for so long that the basic manners taught to me to inquire if the stranger is available or even interested to talk to you have been obliterated? a simple “excuse me, may i talk to you for a moment?” would have sufficed.
the only logical explanation i can come up with for this situation is that their fascination with foreign specimens have overruled their common sense, as usual.
omg looky look, its a…. Foreigner!! and she’s Alone and Defenceless! rubs hands in glee. i cant wait to find out if she really can breathe through her hair and spouts words from her nose..
i was so dazed and perturbed by the overall encounter that i knew had to vent my frustration on the first familiar face or i wouldnt be able to think straight for the rest of the day. of which the unfortunate victim was b j (to whom im inclined to dedicate a public acknowledgment for lending his ears THANK YOU B J)
i confess i have an incredibly short fuse when i am interrupted while reading (they didnt even let me finish the chapter!) and also an extremely cynical/paranoid nerve in me that forbids me from believing that people are talking to me merely because they are interested in making my acquaintance. it hasnt happened yet, in my experience.
in any case, i vow never to read a book written in the alphabet (which will set off any Foreigner radar) in a public area ever again, save for the library.
And, when the shafts of pure light dance in her clear eyes,
I see my angel for the first time
know my purpose, feel my birth
Hear, at first faintly, then distinctly,
the sweet strains of our union
our love heats up the cold universe
Gives my tired, desperate hope
a reason and season to be revealed,
We, purified by our kisses, are eternally healed.
- Simon Templar
those blinded by assumptions can never truly see in colour,
therein lies their failing in the pursuit of intellectual pulchritude
