irreversible

what a pleasant surprise to begin a morning!

ive had a taxing week, mainly stressing out over fulfilling certain application requirements and deadlines for my exchange program. i’d sent them a letter explaining in thorough my situation and proposed a few alternative solutions that might solve the problem and still meet their original requirements.

they replied in four words – yes that is acceptable.


thats all??
i had expected them to say something more than.. that to express their displeasure, possibly in a condescending manner, at someone who actually dared to challenge the rules

i certainly hadnt expected something so… amenable.

bb..bbu…but i havent even begun to argue my stand!
i was ready (and almost eager) to shake my fist threateningly and battle it out…


i swear, living in narrow-minded Freakland for 2 years has made me begin to think and predict that people are going to act in a most unaccommodating way all the time.

the problem with me is

i care too much about what other people think about me.

when i asked
is it overboard? am i asking for too much? wanting to achieve something impossible?

no not at all
was the reply without hesitation

dont you think that when others look at me they will think that im scary and difficult to get with?

a smile
and words of understanding…
actually you dont need to worry so much about what other people think or say about you
yes there may be people who think that what you want to do is scary
then just dont be with those kind of people
because they will only make you feel exhausted

however there will also be people who admire you for what you do
who are willing to help and give support
you will definitely feel more at ease with these people yeah?

you dont need to care so much about what others say
if you care so much
you will never be able to do what you really want to do right?

i nearly cried
im very very touched

it’s really very easy when you sit down and think about it
if you want to do it just do it!
why care about others?

but to be said to directly by someone who has no responsibility or duty to humour you or make you feel better
the warmth and afffection one feels
to be understood by a fellow human…

im not abnormal after all…

research for assignment:

“A woman has a head almost too small for intellect but just big enough for love.”

“(After marriage, a woman will thus be) dependent upon him (her husband), an empty vessel without legal or emotional existence of her own.”

excerpts from True Womanhood

and thats how women were perceived in the Nineteenth-century.

look at your calendar and
BE THANKFUL.

woww yeah
i admit there was a moment when i thought i might not have made it

am still feeling damn giddy lol

you know sometimes when you go swimming
and after stepping out of the pool
you still feel like you are buoyant
well yeah even now the table and computer sway right and left from time to time

maybe i really did too much
but it was tooooooo fun and i couldnt stop lol

FUJI Q HIGHLAND
theme park at the foot of Mount Fuji

such a good thing we went today
cuz it was a weekday
and isnt a holiday for most people
so queues were 1hr max thankfully

Fujiyama was the first one we took

everyone having waked up at 4plusam to reach the park at 9
we were all kinda in a half-sleep mode

welll this is certainly better than both my alarm clocks!

with a speed of 130plus kmh throughout an entire 3.36min ride
it WOKE us up like anything

now that is scary
a world record height (not the highest now) of 79m
anw i think ascends are scarier than descends because of the suspense it builds as you go higher and higher while trying not to imagine how it will be like going down
in conclusion fujiyama was definitely wilder than i had expected

on Dodonpa
quoting yue
your hair is horizontal

it looked so scary that i ended up riding it alone
but it’s just an appearance lol
because it had this

90degree drop at 52m
but because it was tooooo fast and too short at just 60s
official stats are that it accelerates to 172kmh in just 1.8s
(another world record speed but not the fastest anymore)
the wind was so strong
that before you could feel anything it had already ended
so actually it wasnt scary at all lol

the one i was looking most forward to was Eejanaika

the second 4d coaster in the world
with another 90degree vertical drop

i dont know if im lucky or unlucky
to always get the front row seats
so when we fell forward vertically
i had the best upside down view of the world while screaming
but shiok SHIOK SHIOK

other fun rides include
tondemina

uwaaaa giddddddyyyy hehehe
if you are afraid of roller coasters but you want to feel your stomach overturn continuously ride this one

wave swinger

it’s like this huge swing and merry go round in one and you feel like you are flyyyyying~
i seriously love this ride :):)

paniclock
most rides look scary but arent
this one is the direct OPPOSITE

slooww 360degree inversions continuously
the only one that made me really want to throw up ><


and the pretttyyyy ferris wheel called the Shining Flower~~
lolol
it sports completely transparent cars
but that wouldnt be too good if passengers were wearing skirts right…

and speaking of ferris wheels
the Singapore Flyer has a total height of 165m!
who said roller coasters were scarier ><

actually i think all the attractions werent potent on its own
but it's when you take them all consecutively...

well it doesnt matter
one day im definitely going back to FujiQ again!!
and hopefully conquer the world record horror house maze ><

ive developed either a fear or a hate for morning trains in tokyo
i cant really tell the difference

today was a really scary experience
so, as usual i had to fight to squeeze into the train in the morning
and i was wearing a scarf for warmth
and it sorta got untangled
and one end was trapped between two men

but i didnt know that while i was alighting

and guess what?
yes i was nearly strangled to death

so while people were pushing to get in
i had to walk backwards to unravel the scarf around my neck
while trying to pull the other end out
it was a mere blessing from God that i didnt fall into the platform hole

and yes YES YES…

I’M GOING TO JAPAN!!!!

for 5 yrs
something ive been waiting for
a dream continuously weaved over and over again

till it comes to me naturally
believing that one day i will get there
yet afraid that it might be a fantasy forever

i feel like my heart was always in jpn
while my mind remains stranded here

and finally i am SET FREE.

finally.

元気そうね～

なんか
ちょっと安心した・・・けど

心はあまり元気ではない。

不安な予感なの・・・

everyone’s already at the last leg of the race
but i havent even begun running

i might have finished other races
and even won medals

yet the race that means the most to me…