every time i design a new layout, i get reminded of bad browsers. is there any loser out there who still chooses to use internet explorer?
DIE DIE DIE INTERNET EXPLORER DIEEEE. STABS SAVAGELY.
“I am beautiful and charming, and that is all my appearance promises. Any in Society who are disappointed when they do not find more cannot fault my countenance. The deception is not mine; they have deceived themselves. But let them continue to look, whether they are fools or no; I rather enjoy it.”
(emphasis mine)
- Demon Moon, Meljean Brook
i wish all those eternal optimists and blind optimists would just leave everyone else alone. cheer up! look on the bright side! Blah-blah-blah, life is too short, blah-blah… please just stfu with your self-righteous optimism evangelism shit because this is how i view the world this is how i deal with events in MY life and since ive come so far and accomplished so much on my own i think im doing a fairly good job of running my life without your interference. if you dont like my way of thinking, you know what? you can just fcking LIVE. WITH. IT.
somewhere between the time i arrived in japan and now,
i developed the habit of making flippant remarks when foreigners comment about the size of Singapore, such as
“it’s smaller than (insert whichever city convo is currently taking place in)”
“you probably dont even need a day, you can tour the entire place on a stopover”
“it only takes a half hour to travel from one end of the island to the other”
being underestimated works to your advantage, most strategists will tell you
but ive realised now that it is only responsible to get the facts straight before making any statement, even when it’s just some sarcastic answer offhand.
so ive been a good girl (do you hear me, santa!), and done some much overdue homework.
singapore is approximately…
9 times smaller than shanghai
3.5 times smaller than taipei
3 times smaller than tokyo
2.5 times smaller than london
2 times smaller than los angeles
2 times smaller than new york city
2 times smaller than bangkok
1.5 times smaller than hong kong
(and holy moly! 1.2 times larger than seoul!)
complimentary reading for today
Why We Needn’t Feel Insulted by That Insult
i think it is a rare joy to be able to laugh at someone’s expense when they’re supposedly making fun of you
i met quite a handful of abcs who were born in usa but had parents originally from china, or had moved from china when they were very young. they asked if i could speak chinese, and to my surprise, confessed that they couldnt. even those few who could, didnt know how to read or write the language.
i wonder which is worse- not being able to converse with most of the world in English, or not knowing your own mother tongue and consequently, your own heritage and cultural roots. its equally sad, to learn that those parents didnt make enough effort to ensure that their children retain ties to their heritage.
sometimes when i look back, i realise that this is something i can never thank singapore enough for.
but clearly, our juggling of multiple languages has given us an accent which might be deemed incomprehensible to some at times. which is why ive been motivated to master multiple accents, not because im ashamed of my current style of speech, but because i want to excel at switching from one to another and prove those who discriminate against foreign accents wrong.
it also makes me want to hurl something heavy and life-threatening whenever someone makes the comment “oh you sound so bizarre! is it because you have an accent?” well, so do YOU, dimwit.
/linguistics 101/
1. everyone speaks with an accent. (yes, what most of you americans have is an AMERICAN accent.)
2. theres no such thing as a correct accent. or a wrong one. or neutral. or superior or inferior. accents might be associated with higher prestige but those associations are societal and cultural constructs, and therefore, should be .
3. technically noone speaks the Standard accent, because we all have idiosyncrasies in our idiolects, even if they are very very inconspicuous ones.
certainly a month of interaction would suffice, I had felt initially, to rid me of my irritation with being constantly mispronounced or misunderstood.
but in reality, one does not always get what she wants.
reactions to my self-introductions which I deal with on a daily basis border on either amusing the hell out of me or leaving me speechless.
no, my last name is not young
no, I do not have an english name
neither do I want one just because you cant be bothered to remember the one i have now
no, Im not japanese and do not have japanese ancestors
no, english is not a foreign lang for me
no, speaking mandarin does not necessarily mean I must come from china
neither does that mean singapore is in any way near china
no, I dont think asians look particularly exotic or mysterious but if you are looking for something like that in particular, I’d recommend the zoo.
yes, my first name is actually two words
yes, I can still speak English fairly well even if I don’t speak it in your idea of the native accent
yes, you should probably check the atlas if you obviously find a need to ask where singapore is (you miserable ignorant piece of shit)
yes, singapore is so small you cant even see it on the map
yes, singapore is where they caned an american and he deserved it.
yes yes yes for the 4191079817214329th time, we cant eat chewing gum we are squirming and suffering in pain because we are so emotionally deprived by not being allowed to consume toothpaste-flavoured elastic― happy? do you feel more liberated as a person now?
okay. i just need to get this out of my system.
what i had previously hoped to be the end to a perfectly delightful day turned out to be dreadful, after all. (is it just me or do you see a pattern happening here?)
i was very happily reading G. Pullum and minding my own business in campus when i was accosted by two japanese girls who planted themselves on both sides of me in a way that when i had to turn to face one i would be entirely blind to what the other was doing behind my back, literally. i point this out in particular because in the midst of the convo, i had a mini, but alarming, epiphany that people frequently mention their first impression of me as someone meek and compliant. and i immediately turned to pull my bag onto my lap to feel for my wallet.
paranoid, much?
the convo was as intellectually stimulating as say, watching my toenails grow. perhaps i should show a bit more appreciation for their ability to be most unsettingly effusive (eeeeEEE??!!! rEEaaLLYyY??!!! woOWWWW!!!!!!) in responding to every comment i made. it made me feel like some sort of exotic zoo exhibit going on public display for the first time in history.
asking “are your exams over” to start the convo was definitely intrusive. is it just me or is that a question normally directed to a close friend and not a stranger you are seeing for the first time. have i been cooped up in my own world for so long that the basic manners taught to me to inquire if the stranger is available or even interested to talk to you have been obliterated? a simple “excuse me, may i talk to you for a moment?” would have sufficed.
the only logical explanation i can come up with for this situation is that their fascination with foreign specimens have overruled their common sense, as usual.
omg looky look, its a…. Foreigner!! and she’s Alone and Defenceless! rubs hands in glee. i cant wait to find out if she really can breathe through her hair and spouts words from her nose..
i was so dazed and perturbed by the overall encounter that i knew had to vent my frustration on the first familiar face or i wouldnt be able to think straight for the rest of the day. of which the unfortunate victim was b j (to whom im inclined to dedicate a public acknowledgment for lending his ears THANK YOU B J)
i confess i have an incredibly short fuse when i am interrupted while reading (they didnt even let me finish the chapter!) and also an extremely cynical/paranoid nerve in me that forbids me from believing that people are talking to me merely because they are interested in making my acquaintance. it hasnt happened yet, in my experience.
in any case, i vow never to read a book written in the alphabet (which will set off any Foreigner radar) in a public area ever again, save for the library.
