irreversible

when today is over
i will let the past flow over me
i will let go of everything
that is not worth me holding on to
i will forget everything that i do not want to remember

even if i cannot forget them
i will pretend that i have forgotten
if someone asks me about it
i will not understand what he/she is talking about
i will not remember anything

in 2006
everything will be brand new
i will become more mature and more independent
i will grow stronger
i will not be hurt by what i was once afraid of
i will not let anything remind me of my childish self
i will let my past haunt me no more

oh can you believe it? im in LOVE with a lion!! ASLAN, the great Lion, the son of the Emperor-over-the-sea, the King above all High Kings in Narnia! roaaaaaarrr!!!

well by that you could have already guessed that i finally went to watch narnia in the theatres! and it was omg magnificient!! the snow was sooooo pretty lol even though it was artificial stuff made out of dustified paper… and oh yess mr tumnus is such a dear but i thought he must have felt pretty cold since he wears almost nothing lol… and those gallant centaurs too! oh peter was cute too lol even though neelie says he’s not haha but i think he looks like a very trustworthy brotherly sort of person.
long live the king!

okok now let me talk about how wonderful aslan is again! i absolutely adore his mane! but really… he has this whole aura of glory and might around him. with him around i feel like there wouldnt be fear of anything else cuz he will be there to guide and protect.

taken from here:
Aslan is neither a harmless grandfather figure nor a beastly tyrant. Instead, Aslan is both awe-ful and good. He inspires fear and love. He can be joyously embraced but he must also be reverently approached. He is playful, but he is no one’s pet!

…though i dont really understand all that discussion they have abt narnia being a christian book… cuz anyway c.s.lewis wrote it for children and i just want to go back to lucy’s age and enjoy the show and look at aslan with awe and respect. “aslan is living proof that something can be both good and terrible at the same time” and that is quoted from the official guide to narnia which quoted it from somewhere i forgot lol. ohhh i want to see aslan again!! ok maybe i shall go to the zoo tmr to talk to his relatives lol

go watch narnia everybody (so it can beat king kong to be number one in the box office lolol) and if you havent read any of the narnia series SHAME ON YOU!!

and neelie gave me a post-xmas present! this lovely donut lolly lol so cuuuute! im not gonna eat it! lol it would be so upsetting if such a pretty thing is wasted as food lol i shall just look at it and imagine licking it haha thanks nee! :)

for the sake of neelie :P

Rules of the game:
1. Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people whom you want next to do this, and leave a comment “YOU ARE TAGGED!” in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules.

well ok i dont know whats so interesting about wanting to know something weird abt me but anyway here goes:

1. im a big fan of horror flicks (i do get scared) but i love only jpn ones and i havent yet broken my record of watching all the jpn horror movies screened in singapore theatres. are you keen to know how many? another heaven, dark water, ju on, ju on2, one missed call, infection, premonition, red candy… i only havent watched the ultimate: the RING!!

2. i believe EVERYTHING has feelings. yes, even non living things. when i was a child, i talked and fed my soft toys. i cry when i lose my pen, not because i lost it but because i know the pen must be feeling lonely lying forgotten in a dark dusty corner. i try to wear my earrings alternately because i think one pair will feel jealous of the other if it’s not worn as often.

3. if i get wakened up by a phone call, i wont be able to go back to sleep.

4. i make sure that i will never be seen in the same clothes by the same person. i will never wear the same thing twice to meet the same friend.

5. i do not like takeshi kaneshiro.

if you find this fun just follow the rules and do the same thing too cuz i dont think anyone i tag would reply anyway lol

it’s already been a month of holidays and im so happy time has passed so fast. i wish 2005 would end soon. only 9 more days. i absolutely look forward to next year.

wow realised i went to the exact same place for 3 consecutive days lol i wonder whether anyone recognised me. so glad i went to hmv anyway cuz i was lucky that they finally had h album at the cd testing booth. the headphones were like sugoi big for me but sugoi great surround sound effect and i maxed the volume so i couldnt hear anything around me except for tsuyoshi’s sexy voice. i heard arabesque and renrui and breath and i forgot which one was koichi’s solo lol anyway i love the cd! it’s such a deep rich royal purple! i love purple. it’s so soft.. like velvet. but some pple say purple is disgusting cuz purple is a gay colour. oh i really hate pple who hate gays.

okay it’s not anything surprising but let me just say it anyway cuz i want to end my entry on a high note: snow!snow!snow! is top of oricon yeaaa :)

i went to watch SAW 2 with erica today!! of course it was bloody and it was absolutely disgusting and more violent and disturbing than i had expected and it made me nauseous and i think i will never look at medium rare steak in the same way again. but i guess, even though it’s a totally sick way to communicate the message, i must agree it made me rethink. and i want to say, i will cherish my life from now on. try my best. no more you-know-what.

well guess what? today i met SANTA FROM JAPAN and he gave me THIS!!!!!!!!

i LOVE IT absolutely!! and it’s not even from kk’s concert it’s from tsuyoshi’s SOLO CON!!!! it’s a file btw and i am definitely gonna use it on my first day of sch lol

tsuyoshi’s kakkoii logo

and look santa even gave me the lovely bag it came in!

it says:

It’s always best in Johnny’s entertainment world. Enjoy yourself and have fun! fun! fun!

sounds like some amusement park slogan lol… maybe johnny-san shld open some johnnys theme park like disneyland and then he will really earn big bucks!

hahahaha for the greatest happiness i felt today,
THANK YOU CLARINE!!!! *hugs*
if, IF i really get into waseda, i will willingly be your personal buyer in jpn!

いつも剛に「からだを気をつけてください。」と言うのに、
自分のからだを全然気をつけないね。　
あぁ～失敗した。　（笑）

i finally fell sick.
three days after prom already and im only blogging abt it now cuz i was like totally dead yesterday when i returned home. woke up in the hotel room at 10plus to get ready for check out.. came home and slept till 6 then went back to sleep from 9 all the way to 10plus this morning.

cant believe i said i wanted to play bridge 24/7 after prom… couldnt even keep myself awake but could not fall asleep too. i must be getting old… to think two yrs ago i could still stay awake and feel normal the next day. had such a bad night in the hotel that i wanted to go home very very badly… but not possible cuz it was like maybe 3 plus after i finished bathing.

aaa conclusion was: before prom and during prom was miraculous… but after prom was such a disaster.

i think make up does wonders lol everytime i see myself after a makeover i think wow if i look like that i can go and be a celeb too! that means everyone can be celebs if they get pampered by professional stylists at all times! lol… i loved my hair and makeup so much this time i couldnt bear to take it off cuz it only meant that my one night as cinderella would end.

planned to take a record breaking number of 200 photos… but only managed 137. and im so absolutely upset that most of my photos turned out to be only mugshots! saaad i wanted to rmr what everyone wore…

anyway im so glad i went out with lynette today! yaaay it made me so much genkier since yesterday when i thought i would never get better again…

even if our purpose is not the same, im already contented that we have the same destination in mind.

今日のデートとても楽しかった！！ありがとう♡
また必ずいっしょに買い物に行きましょよ！
ああ～　生きてるよかった・・・
キミのような友達がそばにいる。

今日は全部試験が終わりました！！
hoooray! finally… thank god jlpt 3 wasnt that that difficult. it was FUN and i enjoyed it lol so i hope hope hope that i can at least pass it pleaaase! KAMISAMA ONEGAI ITASHIMASU!! but still listening was terrible as expected… aaa~ my listening and oral has always been the worst :(

the test was held in the jpn primary school… and so all the tables and chairs and even the toilets were so tiny that after 3 hrs plus in exam conditions, everyone walked out with a stiff neck! i did… and im sure everyone else were worse cuz they all looked older than me lol… anyway im kinda proud that im halfway thru a third language… i mean, to have to take exams when you are already working must be a really painful thing! i was thinking… do they still remember how to fill in an OAS form?

but im glad everything has ended! at least a few months without exams is a simple joy for me :)

for tsuyoshi, who accompanied me mentally through two weeks of nihongo exams :) thank you so much darling! i learnt so much more from watching all that shoujiki shindoi lolol

ENDLICHERI☆ENDLICHERI

today was CLASS BBQ! came home early to blog abt it in case i forgot all the funny details tmr lol! was half afraid that the food would either turn out uncooked or burnt. but no! haha it was the most successful bbq ive ever been and i ate so much that im sure all my dieting for the past month has been wasted. aaaahh prom~:(

oh wells.

i think today has definitely been my most fruitful holiday spent since the exams ended… i laughed so hard and felt so happy just to be there. i know i havent really been able to make myself relax. sad… who can be so stressed as to dream of her a level results twice in a week?! even now when i watch tv or play comp and not do any productive work, suddenly i will feel guilty unconsciously… like i shld be studying but im not… and when i realise it i remember that there’s nothing to study anymore!

i think the best part was when zhen and i went to sit on the swings!! at the condo playground! and it was tremendous tremendous fun!!! the feeling of flying in the air and feeling giddy and gripping the metal chains kicking the sand to go higher and higher. almost till you reach the stars. all that lost after childhood!

of course i helped to cook too lol and the food was gooood but i got myself all smoky and oily lol and now my hair still smells of honey! and i dunno how we ended up trying to speak in jpn and a guy wanted to learn how to say “are you free tonight? can you go out with me?” LOL so i said “konban wa hima desuka?” and it really truly is rubbish cuz it’s just direct translation and no jpnese speaks like that! but he was so keen on learning it and tried it on everyone including other guys until one replied “shizuka ni shite kudasai!” (please keep quiet!) in an american accent and we were all laughing like mad already!

lol sorry… actually if you werent there in person it would be hard to understand the funny part… but there were many other silly episodes too… like how we tried to drink rose syrup and it was toooo sweeeeet and then we realised it was syrup which means to be diluted with water! and fencing with roasted marshmallows on skewers and using a bunch of leaves to spread butter on the meat lololol.